It was a rough day. Things were just not working out and my nerves were quickly frayed. Its easy to feel overwhelmed sometimes especially when the weight of Philip being gone so much feels a little too much to bare.
I had been trying to accomplished what was supposed to be a simple task. Simply to send cement to Philip on Agutaya. Only, it wasn’t simple. In between empty promises, irritating red tape and trying to organise between the boat people and cement people, I ended up with the cement paid for -but not delivered. The boat gone to Agutaya -without the cement, and the port duties paid -and proof of payment sailing into the sun on the boat that left without the cement! Frustrated.
As I walked through the sweltering streets of Cuyo towards the pier (for the 3rd time), it felt as though the heat from the road was bubbling through me, feeding my anger and frustration. The further I walked the quicker I walked trying to dodge tricycles, people, dogs and muck in the streets. Boeta skipped along side me just pleased to be out in the sunshine. My mind blanked out his chatter as I worked through a mental list of what I needed to do.
And then I felt his hand slip in mine. And immediately my thoughts were brought back to the present and this sweet boy still willing to hold his moms hand. “Mom? How are you supposed to get a girl to marry you?” he asked. So I began explaining to him.
Inbetween questions and answers and lots of sweet remarks (like, what do you do if a girl says no when you ask her to marry you 🙂 ), I suddenly realised how far away my problems felt and how very blessed I was at that moment. The truth is that I am so unbelievably blessed – always. I have so much to be thankful for and yet I choose to grumble. I am surrounded by so much grace but I sometimes only see the hardship. I’m so busy focusing on the clouds that I fail to notice the rainbow.
But not today. Today I’m going to look up. Today I’m going to be thankful for His Grace in my life. I’m going to praise Him for problems that help me to be thankful for the many things that go right. I’m going to hold my sweet boy’s hand and tell him all about life. After all, my problems are in better hands than mine. I just need to let go.
(Incidently if you were wondering, the cement was delivered on another boat a day later. So problem solved. Please continue to pray for us as we seek to serve Him. Please pray that our focus will always be on Him.)